Wow. Just wow. Literally agog with the awesomeness of all of this. I am deeply, wildly and madly in love with this idea of 'experiments'....I need more of those in my life. My certainty-seeking brain switched into overdrive at some point...probably as my estrogen started disappearing lol. So excited to see what you get up to. xo
Oh my! I had no idea it would be that interesting to people - this is lovely to hear Mel! I think both age and 'state of world' play a hand in this too; there come these points where you're just like, RIGHT. Something needs to be different, what's in my power to do?
{PS. Did you see Leanne Shawler waving to you from her comment? :)}
Oh absolutely, re: age and the world. The realization that there isn't much 'out there' that we can change, but we've got all kinds of options within our own sphere...and those things can (and will) ripple outwards. I've already got a list generated from the question: "What if I...." -- let the experimentation commence!! xo
What wonderful insights into such a difficult but life changing process. At 74 I had an epiphany after being plucked from a French mountain by a helicopter (yes I know it was daft, but my partner promised I was invincible). A stent and loads other stuff left me re-examining every aspect of my existence. Nearly two years on I have made two major experiments real: moving on physically and finally accepting myself as a lifelong artist who can paint exactly what I want, just for me. I confess, your art practice and words were in my life well before the "IT" happened and they were already reflecting my direction of travel. I find it comforting, though, that I am not alone in feeling the thrill of taking new, less impressive, but just as exciting risks. More often than not, I am even kicking that negative little toe-rag off my shoulder. Thank-you Tara and good luck with your new plans.
Oh wow that's quite a significant life event Frances - I'm not surprised a dramatic rescue would catalyse some changes! Thank you for sharing your experiments too - that artist one is so huge {make it for you first!}, even though to others it might seem natural. It's so lovely to know you're out there doing your experiments too. :)
I love this so much! So inspiring and interesting what and how and why you are thinking & planning. To me personally, it feels really like a nudg⁶e to open my own selfbuilt cage of stories I tell myself of what is not possible and walk out of that cage door to breathe some fresh air even if it is strange and unfamiliar. As an introvert and HSP and hermit myself with some lately worsening health issues I so very much can relate to your decisions to make some drastic life changes. So good you have some family + friends support! I am very excited for you and will be glad to see how you move on 🤩
Ah I'm so glad you found something useful in it Cristine! I honestly didn't think it would be that interesting to anyone, so it's very lovely to know it's provoking some thought. Thank you for the kind words. That cage of self built stories {such a good way to put it} can start to feel very stifling I know - I'm always in the process of dismantling something or other!
Yes, I´ve noticed you like to look behind the curtain constantly and I find that so couragous + can very well relate to it, I also have a never resting curious mind. It seems to be quite a typical trait of HSPs bc we just think and feel more deeply than average and process what we see and learn more deeply and also think about it longer and on several levels seeing all those implications and consequences. It can be a very uncomfortable und lonely place to be mentally and emotionally if you find yourself seemingly forever without people who "get you" as a person, even if they might not be able or willing to follow your never ending thinking / planning / dreaming to evolve and develop as a person. I am sure your experiments will bring you to some very rewarding experiences, and the van adventures sure are something to look forward to in any case :-)
Yes, I always wanted that group of close friends who all get each other, and I'm just not really built for that, I've learned. But I've also learned that it only takes a couple of people who DO get you - or at least for me - and that's plenty. And I also feel fortunate that I love being alone and in my own company. I think that's a blessing not everyone experiences, and it means I can get away with less friends lol.
oh yes, being able to be alone with oneself is the most important thing I´d say. At the same time, I´ d be glad for one or two friends :-) ... a bit like Harry-Ron-Hermione but of course maybe without you-know-who to combat with. It takes luck and also nearness/regular contact and in the best case a regular contact in the offline world, I´d think, to form a lasting bond, especially in adultlife. Me too I like and need to be alone much more than average just to process "the world" and I love to just dawdle around (puzzle around?) if thats the right expression - just to kind of take my time, look around, enjoy what I see in nature without that urgency "to do something with it". I´m getting better with letting myself do that ;-)
I'm in possession of my own self-built cage of stories too! I did such a lovely job with it...so comfy, so well-appointed....why would I ever want to leave it? HA! All joking aside, what a great way to describe it.
My introvert/HSP/hermit energy sees your introvert/HSP/hermit energy <3 :)
;-) good to know you can relate, yes this cage needs some serious rattling, doesn´t it? It sure is not that easy. To change one´s stories, it is not enough to go at it with fancy mindset-tools...those cage bars are strongly built from years and years of learning what is supposedly true, from early childhood on. And those stories also live in the nervous system, in behaviours and patterns which of course create the way we see and act in our world. For our mindset changes and / or manifestations to work, there is no way around learning how to regulate one´s nervous system - that´s something I´ve been experiencing for the last couple of years. So the cage door opening and walking out of it is the second step, the first step is to feel safe within oneself - and then maybe the cage might go "poof" anyway? I hope so!
Ahhhh Tara. I'm so excited for you! It is such an honour to witness you moving through all of this with such lightness and gumption. Changing your life is never easy but it's always worth it, and play definitely helps. I am in awe of you, my friend ❤️
That's the second time I've heard the word 'gumption' this week, although the first time it's been applied to me. What a great word. I'll take it! I'd love it if I was moving through it all with lightness {ha!} - not every day, but writing about it all helps massively, not least because it helps me step back a bit from the minutiae I'm currently drowning in. Thank you for being such a cheerer onner! xx
I'm so glad you enjoyed it Cheryl - and that planning stage {which honestly I think just comes round again and again in different ways as you go along - at least for me it does} is so fun! Daydreaming is so important. Thank you for the mention of Fiona - I do actually follow her already, but that's such a kind thought.
I've gone from vague plans to more solid (currently researching vans, and trying to figure out how big small I need). It's scary but fun, I just have to make sure I don't overplan (neurospicy brain can go deep dive).
That's brilliant, in my head you have very similar vibes. Great to know you already follow. 😊
The van search took me a few months - I’d say it’s both important to choose carefully, and also you can’t know what does and doesn’t work for you until you actually try it. {That’s why so many people recommend hiring one first, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing that.} I love my van, and if there’s a next time, I’ll 100% go for something I can stand up in! Good luck with your search, and may your just right van find you soon!
I would like (need) something a bit bigger but I am a bit scared as have never driven anything bigger than my car (VW Polo). Thinking ford transit size might work.
I was scared too - partly why I went for VW Caddy Maxi, but I got used to it surprisingly quickly, including not having a rear view mirror, which I was a bit anxious about! Turns out it’s not an essential, lol. I like the look of Ford Transits too, especially Custom - I get confused about the different sizes but they’re good in terms of economy and easy to find parts too.
You've touched a chord around experiments. I've often been drawn to the 30 day or 100 day challenges but I like to mix things up and make them less about bigger, faster, better (though I can go there too), so I'm wondering about 30 days of idleness, 30 days of talking to my plants and that kind of thing. Small bites (even just 10 minutes) work for me and multiple mini adventures. Reading your post for the second time, has me wondering what else could be fun and could I give myself permission to do.
30 days of idleness sounds so countercultural and brilliant! And you’d probably have a jungle after 30 days of talking to plants. I love those ideas. I love that what I wrote prompted you to consider how it could work for you too - I highly recommend the experimental approach in any capacity!
I love the idea of experiments - it makes things that seem impossible and too scary (especially being hermit-inclined) somehow easier to contemplate and take the first hesitant steps . . . Whatever happens we will learn something from the experience! My experiment for the year is my new Substack. I love the title of yours and wish you many exciting adventures as you explore your experiment ideas!
Yes, that's a big part of it for me for sure - it makes things that feel huge and overwhelming feel less daunting, and easier to hold lightly. Yay for the new Substack experiment! I don't use it how 'they' say to, but I absolutely love my quiet, thoughtful little space here. Thank you for the kind words and same to you!
oh yes, being able to be alone with oneself is the most important thing I´d say. At the same time, I´ d be glad for one or two friends :-) ... a bit like Harry-Ron-Hermione but of course maybe without you-know-who to combat with. It takes luck and also nearness/regular contact and in the best case a regular contact in the offline world, I´d think, to form a lasting bond, especially in adultlife. Me too I like and need to be alone much more than average just to process "the world" and I love to just dawdle around (puzzle around?) if thats the right expression - just to kind of take my time, look around, enjoy what I see in nature without that urgency "to do something with it". I´m getting better with letting myself do that ;-)
Wow. Just wow. Literally agog with the awesomeness of all of this. I am deeply, wildly and madly in love with this idea of 'experiments'....I need more of those in my life. My certainty-seeking brain switched into overdrive at some point...probably as my estrogen started disappearing lol. So excited to see what you get up to. xo
Oh my! I had no idea it would be that interesting to people - this is lovely to hear Mel! I think both age and 'state of world' play a hand in this too; there come these points where you're just like, RIGHT. Something needs to be different, what's in my power to do?
{PS. Did you see Leanne Shawler waving to you from her comment? :)}
Oh absolutely, re: age and the world. The realization that there isn't much 'out there' that we can change, but we've got all kinds of options within our own sphere...and those things can (and will) ripple outwards. I've already got a list generated from the question: "What if I...." -- let the experimentation commence!! xo
What wonderful insights into such a difficult but life changing process. At 74 I had an epiphany after being plucked from a French mountain by a helicopter (yes I know it was daft, but my partner promised I was invincible). A stent and loads other stuff left me re-examining every aspect of my existence. Nearly two years on I have made two major experiments real: moving on physically and finally accepting myself as a lifelong artist who can paint exactly what I want, just for me. I confess, your art practice and words were in my life well before the "IT" happened and they were already reflecting my direction of travel. I find it comforting, though, that I am not alone in feeling the thrill of taking new, less impressive, but just as exciting risks. More often than not, I am even kicking that negative little toe-rag off my shoulder. Thank-you Tara and good luck with your new plans.
Oh wow that's quite a significant life event Frances - I'm not surprised a dramatic rescue would catalyse some changes! Thank you for sharing your experiments too - that artist one is so huge {make it for you first!}, even though to others it might seem natural. It's so lovely to know you're out there doing your experiments too. :)
I love this so much! So inspiring and interesting what and how and why you are thinking & planning. To me personally, it feels really like a nudg⁶e to open my own selfbuilt cage of stories I tell myself of what is not possible and walk out of that cage door to breathe some fresh air even if it is strange and unfamiliar. As an introvert and HSP and hermit myself with some lately worsening health issues I so very much can relate to your decisions to make some drastic life changes. So good you have some family + friends support! I am very excited for you and will be glad to see how you move on 🤩
Ah I'm so glad you found something useful in it Cristine! I honestly didn't think it would be that interesting to anyone, so it's very lovely to know it's provoking some thought. Thank you for the kind words. That cage of self built stories {such a good way to put it} can start to feel very stifling I know - I'm always in the process of dismantling something or other!
Yes, I´ve noticed you like to look behind the curtain constantly and I find that so couragous + can very well relate to it, I also have a never resting curious mind. It seems to be quite a typical trait of HSPs bc we just think and feel more deeply than average and process what we see and learn more deeply and also think about it longer and on several levels seeing all those implications and consequences. It can be a very uncomfortable und lonely place to be mentally and emotionally if you find yourself seemingly forever without people who "get you" as a person, even if they might not be able or willing to follow your never ending thinking / planning / dreaming to evolve and develop as a person. I am sure your experiments will bring you to some very rewarding experiences, and the van adventures sure are something to look forward to in any case :-)
Yes, I always wanted that group of close friends who all get each other, and I'm just not really built for that, I've learned. But I've also learned that it only takes a couple of people who DO get you - or at least for me - and that's plenty. And I also feel fortunate that I love being alone and in my own company. I think that's a blessing not everyone experiences, and it means I can get away with less friends lol.
oh yes, being able to be alone with oneself is the most important thing I´d say. At the same time, I´ d be glad for one or two friends :-) ... a bit like Harry-Ron-Hermione but of course maybe without you-know-who to combat with. It takes luck and also nearness/regular contact and in the best case a regular contact in the offline world, I´d think, to form a lasting bond, especially in adultlife. Me too I like and need to be alone much more than average just to process "the world" and I love to just dawdle around (puzzle around?) if thats the right expression - just to kind of take my time, look around, enjoy what I see in nature without that urgency "to do something with it". I´m getting better with letting myself do that ;-)
I'm in possession of my own self-built cage of stories too! I did such a lovely job with it...so comfy, so well-appointed....why would I ever want to leave it? HA! All joking aside, what a great way to describe it.
My introvert/HSP/hermit energy sees your introvert/HSP/hermit energy <3 :)
;-) good to know you can relate, yes this cage needs some serious rattling, doesn´t it? It sure is not that easy. To change one´s stories, it is not enough to go at it with fancy mindset-tools...those cage bars are strongly built from years and years of learning what is supposedly true, from early childhood on. And those stories also live in the nervous system, in behaviours and patterns which of course create the way we see and act in our world. For our mindset changes and / or manifestations to work, there is no way around learning how to regulate one´s nervous system - that´s something I´ve been experiencing for the last couple of years. So the cage door opening and walking out of it is the second step, the first step is to feel safe within oneself - and then maybe the cage might go "poof" anyway? I hope so!
Play is so important! Thanks for sharing your expansive view! (*waves hi to Mel who was already commented*)
I love that phrase 'expansive view'. Thank you Leanne - thinking of you and sending the good vibes.
*waves back* xo
Ahhhh Tara. I'm so excited for you! It is such an honour to witness you moving through all of this with such lightness and gumption. Changing your life is never easy but it's always worth it, and play definitely helps. I am in awe of you, my friend ❤️
That's the second time I've heard the word 'gumption' this week, although the first time it's been applied to me. What a great word. I'll take it! I'd love it if I was moving through it all with lightness {ha!} - not every day, but writing about it all helps massively, not least because it helps me step back a bit from the minutiae I'm currently drowning in. Thank you for being such a cheerer onner! xx
Loved this post. I'm still in the planning stages of changing my life to be more in line with what I want to see.
If you do head to Scotland, you might want to look up Fiona D Artisan, a wonderful textile artist. Apologies if you already know her, I just thought the two of you might enjoy each other's vibe and work. 😊 https://substack.com/@fionadartisan?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=jh5zm
I'm so glad you enjoyed it Cheryl - and that planning stage {which honestly I think just comes round again and again in different ways as you go along - at least for me it does} is so fun! Daydreaming is so important. Thank you for the mention of Fiona - I do actually follow her already, but that's such a kind thought.
I've gone from vague plans to more solid (currently researching vans, and trying to figure out how big small I need). It's scary but fun, I just have to make sure I don't overplan (neurospicy brain can go deep dive).
That's brilliant, in my head you have very similar vibes. Great to know you already follow. 😊
The van search took me a few months - I’d say it’s both important to choose carefully, and also you can’t know what does and doesn’t work for you until you actually try it. {That’s why so many people recommend hiring one first, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing that.} I love my van, and if there’s a next time, I’ll 100% go for something I can stand up in! Good luck with your search, and may your just right van find you soon!
I would like (need) something a bit bigger but I am a bit scared as have never driven anything bigger than my car (VW Polo). Thinking ford transit size might work.
I was scared too - partly why I went for VW Caddy Maxi, but I got used to it surprisingly quickly, including not having a rear view mirror, which I was a bit anxious about! Turns out it’s not an essential, lol. I like the look of Ford Transits too, especially Custom - I get confused about the different sizes but they’re good in terms of economy and easy to find parts too.
You've touched a chord around experiments. I've often been drawn to the 30 day or 100 day challenges but I like to mix things up and make them less about bigger, faster, better (though I can go there too), so I'm wondering about 30 days of idleness, 30 days of talking to my plants and that kind of thing. Small bites (even just 10 minutes) work for me and multiple mini adventures. Reading your post for the second time, has me wondering what else could be fun and could I give myself permission to do.
30 days of idleness sounds so countercultural and brilliant! And you’d probably have a jungle after 30 days of talking to plants. I love those ideas. I love that what I wrote prompted you to consider how it could work for you too - I highly recommend the experimental approach in any capacity!
Loving the jungle idea. Sparks flying in my mind. Imagining swinging on vines across my living room 🥰😀. Your writing lit many sparks. Thank you.
Oh that makes me happy!
Always love reading your posts Tara and make sure I set time aside as they are never tiny 😂 but always interesting and I want to do them justice! 💕
Haha, let’s call a spade a spade! Thank you Claire, that’s a lovely thing to say and I appreciate you taking the time!
I love the idea of experiments - it makes things that seem impossible and too scary (especially being hermit-inclined) somehow easier to contemplate and take the first hesitant steps . . . Whatever happens we will learn something from the experience! My experiment for the year is my new Substack. I love the title of yours and wish you many exciting adventures as you explore your experiment ideas!
Yes, that's a big part of it for me for sure - it makes things that feel huge and overwhelming feel less daunting, and easier to hold lightly. Yay for the new Substack experiment! I don't use it how 'they' say to, but I absolutely love my quiet, thoughtful little space here. Thank you for the kind words and same to you!
oh yes, being able to be alone with oneself is the most important thing I´d say. At the same time, I´ d be glad for one or two friends :-) ... a bit like Harry-Ron-Hermione but of course maybe without you-know-who to combat with. It takes luck and also nearness/regular contact and in the best case a regular contact in the offline world, I´d think, to form a lasting bond, especially in adultlife. Me too I like and need to be alone much more than average just to process "the world" and I love to just dawdle around (puzzle around?) if thats the right expression - just to kind of take my time, look around, enjoy what I see in nature without that urgency "to do something with it". I´m getting better with letting myself do that ;-)